I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
