um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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