i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
