with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
