i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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