D3 body, D1 cock
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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