dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
there is another microwave in the elevator.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
