I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
