Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
