You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
