around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize