Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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