She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
