there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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