Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
