Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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