i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
