well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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