Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
