There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
