my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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