Sry I called you an 8
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
