when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
