ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
