My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
