38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
