omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
