i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
