He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
