you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize