The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
