I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
