I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
