Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
