Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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