You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
