I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
