So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
