but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
