Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
These tits shall not be calmed
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