I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize