I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
