JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
