You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
