called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
