Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
