I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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