she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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