Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
