I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
