Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
