im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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