dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
