i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
