yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
