I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
