How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
