when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
