oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
