YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just pee around me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i now understand why vodka
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