am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
