Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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