I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize