I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
